Today was a good day. I can start with that before sharing the difficulties of last week. Today was this kind of good.A found heart in our hands. Sunshine and bright autumn leaves and family-time good. I needed today.
Last week was all kinds of challenges. We had parent conferences. And I believe that teachers and parents are a team supporting the children in my classroom, so I go to all of the conferences. From noon to five Tuesday and Wednesday, then teach Thursday, conferences until five on Thursday, then teach Friday. Needless to say, I was exhausted. Conference afternoons were nonstop. One family right after another. And we do not hold formal, instructive conferences. No, many of these were emotional. Building strong foundations for these students. A gift all around.
I was just watching Waiting for Superman last night. Phew. We are the charter school with the lotteries. We hold a child's social, emotional, and academic growth in equal parts. We are so invested in every student. It's amazing.
And I felt powerful during conferences. I have been teaching, now, for fifteen years. I felt comfortable talking with parents. I had stories and insights, ideas and inspirations. My co-teacher and I make a great team. We were in our element.
Then, Thursday, with the kids, I hit a dozen walls inside myself. Physical, emotional, even mental fatigue. I kept going, of course. But I felt that disappointment when CMT roars and leaves me quiet in its wake. I love teaching. And I don't know how much longer I can be in the classroom. I'm still good. I still rise up to their energy. I still find the energy. But I also feel that my days are numbered.
Which is a huge bummer. Where's my cure?
It will get easier when my ankle heals. It's still a big nightmare. I am going to the specialist all the way in Sacramento in the morning to check in and make sure I am still on this slow, slow healing path. I have a bunch of companion-problems now. From tight calf muscles to sensitive nerves, my entire lower leg is angry. I hope he has decent news tomorrow.
I was so ready to recover over the weekend. Then I picked up my daughter at a friend's house. I stayed for a cup of tea. Years and years ago, I struggled with asthma. I had medicine because I was triggered by allergies. I also get bronchitis at least once or twice a year. So, anyway, I knew the feeling of tight breathing. And they have guinea pigs. I am allergic to guinea pigs. Once I leave, though, my symptoms disappear. It happens a lot in pet stores. I didn't worry.
Until I got outside in the fresh air and my breath wheezed crazy, worse than ever. I got home, heaving breaths. And managed to find my medicine, which was all expired. And barely helped. It took awhile to breathe normally and when I could, I had a pounding headache. I did check for when to go to an emergency room, just in case, but I wasn't that extreme.
Extreme enough. Big reality check. Again. Slowing down. I feel a lot better today. And we'll figure this ankle out. I will call for more asthma medicine. And I won't push my luck when I feel symptoms start. Life is a fragile, lovely journey.
Fortunately this week is back to a two day schedule. Then the children get all week off next week. I get my most fragile resource- Time. I will be fine. And I share all this in the interest of authenticity. Because I have some awesome photos to share soon. Of our awesome day. We cannot give up, because the path changes quickly. Leading to beauty.