Welcome! Lenkaland shares my adventures in creative photography, raising two kids, writing, living with chronic illness, raising a daughter with dyslexia, and swimming with mermaids. Hope you have a nice stay!

So happy to be home. I love traveling, love the adventures, but I also love returning home. I know this place. I don't bump into corners (as often). I get my routines and quiet(er) times. I am safe here. And, at the same time, I just want to get away. I'm reminded of all my challenges here. Piles to sort, laundry to fold, crafty supplies to organize. It's so easy to feel inadequate. Especially because the fun takes energy and I come home needing to recharge.

We used to get help around the house, when my husband was employed. We are going on month ten of unemployment. And he does a lot around here with the big stuff- vacuuming and scrubbing.

I just feel like I should be able to help more, get more done, faster.

The frustrations are not unique to me, or even unique to my situation. Yes, I have a few aggravating factors. And they could overshadow these days together. I could go into a frenzy of cleaning and snipping at my family to pick up more, now, faster.

Or I could breathe deep. Give small doses of time and energy. Take breaks. My knee is still sensitive. It will be fine. I'm careful anyway.

Relax. Enjoy vacation instead of using vacation for housework. Trust the stuff in corners will find homes eventually. Laugh. Give myself room to be me, not an idealized version of me.

That would be a huge gift. To let less be enough.

I won't get everything done and that has to be okay. Because it won't get done whether I'm mad or gentle. I don't get to choose how much energy I will have in the morning, or how I will feel tomorrow. I do get to choose how I treat myself along the way. Tomorrow, I will choose kindness. Sounds sweet :)

After all, happy moms make for happy families.


Happy New Year

And also...