Back in the day (a few years ago), my goals were vague and dreamy. I will feel better. I will be stronger. I will succeed.
Then I realized a few things. First, how can I possibly measure those goals? Second, how can I set myself up for success instead of disappointment?
I have two influencers on my life. Me and CMT. I can make awesome plans. Beautiful ideas. And it will all go down in flames if CMT doesn’t agree with me.
So my goal the past few years has become learning about CMT. And learning about myself with CMT. That can be a huge challenge, especially since my CMT has decided that daily swings are great fun (not). But that goal has helped me be realistic. And advocate for myself with physical therapy and doctors.
My thoughts on goals fly from the wildly beautiful (awareness, cure, fixing me) to incredibly short term. Clean my desk. Return emails. Laugh with my kids.
I have brought my goals to more realistic, smaller plans. I let go of things like “I will finish the river trail” or “I will keep up with my family at the street fair.” Instead, I rework them to “I will enjoy the views at the river. And stop when I need to stop. And remember the walk back to the car. Don’t push too far.” Or “I will ask for breaks and enjoy the day.” My lofty goals can invite frustration.
I had to let go of Quantity (walk this far, lift this much) to Quality (how I feel).
Right now my goals are to stay active. Be strong enough for adventures. Exercise gently. And try, try, try, to listen to little signals of too much. This one is tricky for me because I get into the defiance cycle.
Goals can invite defeat for me. I wake up and make plans. Then I’m tired. So very tired. Going to bed is an admission the CMT won. Whew, that’s a dangerous path. I have become conscious of goals. Holding them gently. Realizing that the biggest goal of all has to be TAKING CARE OF ME. Which sounds so much easier that it is in real life.
CMT demands a lot of attention. A lot of patience. Forgiveness. CMT challenges me mentally, emotionally, physically. And my biggest goal is to recognize the brilliance of this journey. Time is precious. I hope to use my time wisely :)
The CMT Alphabet is inspired by Donna at Beating Limitations. I am blogging as often as possible to help with CMT Awareness month. CMT is a neuropathy that affects strength, coordination, balance, and more. My posts reflect my journey. Everyone with CMT has different experiences. You can visit the CMTA and the Hereditary Neuropathy Foundation for more information. Thank you!