So this week, inspiration struck. Lightning from the blue sky. And I say, I have no time (true). And I say I have a thousand projects already (true). And I say later, please, later . . . Except, we don’t know about later. It could be never. And this book needs writing. If I were to fall off the earth tomorrow, not writing this book would be my big creative regret.
I rushed into the idea, and then remembered my earlier hurdles when writing fiction. I have a Masters degree in Creative Writing, a Bachelor’s in literature. I have shared my stories in many workshops and heard common questions and themes in response. Back then, disability was a far-away word, so I didn’t connect their questions to my experiences.
I don’t expect everyone to be literature junkies who reads this. So, in short, there is a Master Narrative in our stories- a big pattern that most books and movies follow. A hero (or heroine) embarks on a journey and along the way they are tested. They are usually isolated from help. Then, through wits and strength and against-all-odds, they defeat the bad guy (or girl) and win the day.
I love this story. It’s Star Wars and Indiana Jones and Lord of the Rings.
Now. My challenges.
Most traditional characters choose their path. They peek behind the curtain, wish for change, want to join the rebellion. My characters . . . don’t. Often, something happens to them completely against their wishes and they have to deal with the consequences. This bothered my critique friends. What does your character want? they would ask. How does this story help them get what they want?
In my stories, characters didn’t get what they wanted. They got attacked. Ruined. Lost. And they had to figure out what to do next. Sound familiar? How many of us chose this disability path? Not many, I’m guessing.
I also couldn’t make an anchor-character. This is the farm-boy, or Dorothy, or “regular” person who could interpret all of the crazy happenings around them. I heard the quote, I write about normal people in extraordinary situations.
I did the opposite. My main characters were often the ones struggling with a difference, with trying to be understood or accepted. I wrote about extraordinary people trying to fit into ordinary situations (The Goblin Queen).
I also couldn’t pitch my characters into various tests that would prove their worth. My characters would lose. They would be defeated. I could never write the “believe in yourself” storyline.
Because I have believed. And failed. Even before my diagnosis, as a child, I banged up against the “believe you will catch the ball.” “Believe you can hike with us.” ”Believe you can walk across the creek by balancing on a fallen log.”
I fell a lot.
My characters have a lot of weaknesses. Which doesn’t match expectations.
I remembered all of these obstacles and I almost sighed and gave up. I’m not sure if I can carry a disability perspective that appeals to everyone.
I know I can’t write a traditional story. It’s not me. I’m the outsider.
I want to celebrate that. I have to believe that there is room for all of our narratives. Traditional or non-traditional.
So I’m going to write the story. And we’ll see how it plays out long-term.
The past two days of summer camp were a nice break for me. Yesterday, Ian went to his friend’s house and Anika had a last minute playdate. Anika and her friend were golden, all quiet play, no fighting. A dream day for Mama.
Giovanni and I took advantage and recorded a podcast- with show notes! Only to discover that one microphone shut off about twenty minutes into the recording. Massive frustration. He tried to set up today for a redo, but cannot get the two mikes happy again like last week. The only thing that he can guess is that Apple did an update on my computer that tweaked the ability to record with two microphones. He worked on it for almost an hour (hero) before giving up. It’s messed up. I thought this whole podcast-process was as simple as talking into a phone, or having someone call and recording the conversation. But in order to get the nice quality, it takes serious equipment. Bummer. I’ll still post my show notes, and we might try one mike tomorrow, but it’s not as much fun by myself
Other good news, though. My camera will be here tomorrow! Hurrah! Get ready for lots of summer-fun photos!
And I sold a fairy on Etsy.
And I made a fan page on Facebook for Forest Fairy Crafts because I felt the fairies needed a home of their own. And we have 24 fans already! One more and I can get a custom domain, hurrah!
And I sketched two pages for the new Anika book.
And I started writing some fiction. Not because I have to, but because I remembered how much I like to write . Must mean my energy levels are creeping back to almost-normal
A good luck kind of day
Oh, and we had a great time in the Children’s Place. Anika fell in love with a bag a few months ago. We live about an hour away and didn’t have a reason to go back until today. We couldn’t find them so she asked the salespeople with a vague description- “You know that bag, with beads on it, and a flower?” Not only did they know exactly what she meant, they searched the entire store and brought a new version from the back. They gave us a coupon code for free shipping so we could look online for the one she wanted. Then, they found the bags! And there was only one white one left- exactly the one Anika wanted. She’s a happy girl. And we found a Star Wars shirt for Ian while we waited for the bag, so they won too, with us splurging on a shirt. They went above-and-beyond. Hurrah.
That reminds me, summer camp today- Ian was at daycare. And we needed things from the big stores down the hill. We weren’t back until after 4.
My kind of summer camp schedule . Just kidding. Tomorrow we get back on track. We have a trip to the farm!
A twenty year storm blew into town today. Rain clouds were pleasant in the morning with water-scented breezes. Then spatters, then soaking rain. Luckily I planned a trip to the library. That took all of one hour. Now the kids are crazy. Jumping off of the bed and screeching and jumping on the bed. I just chased them into the bathtub. After bath they get to play Xbox for a little while before bed. So I might get a break.
Except I just remembered the laundry in the dryer needs to be folded.
So summer camp today had library, siesta, baking cookies, popcorn, spin art, dancing, puzzles, and then Ian fell asleep for his nap so I got to clean a corner of my room while Anika planned next week’s craft activity (picking her favorite ideas from my craft books). No wonder I’m tired. Too bad sleep has been erratic lately. Some good nights and some restless nights.
I did figure out that shortcuts are good. We baked cookies from a pre-mixed batter. Which feels like cheating to me. I know how to bake perfectly good cookies from scratch. But the energy conservation in not needing to clean all the supplies was worth the ‘cheating’ feeling. I have to cut corners to get through the day. My energy levels are still super-low. Muscles healing.
Still, life doesn’t have a pause button.
I had another idea
My book idea for Anika today was a simple flip-storybook. Each page is cut off center. On the short side is the character. On the long side is a descriptive (funny) sentence ending. By flipping one side of the page or the other, the story changes with silly outcomes. We wrote The vampire lives in a scary castle.
The bunny eats green grass.
The princess goes to a tea party.
The fairy lives in a flower blossom.
The family plays in the rain.
Ian kicks the ball.
Anika dances at a show.
Even Ian was laughing at our rough draft sentences. The vampire eats green grass and The bunny kicks the ball. Good fun
I see the book helping Anika’s memory retain part of the story at a time. For reading, it will be successful, fun, and it will build skills where she recognizes sameness within changes. Right now, changing part of a story puts her back at square one. She forgets words and patterns when she turns a page in a book. This format can help her see that she doesn’t need to sound out every letter if she recognizes words.
Now I need to illustrate and figure out how to bind it for her.
Oh, that reminds me, I forgot to show our game that we made which helps her learn blending and chunking sounds. Here is our Weremaid and Merwolf. I print the characters on cardstock so the kids can mix and match. The top-halves fit with the bottom-halves. The cards have the letters along the side for sounding out (eventually chunking). I’ll figure out a way to share the entire game if people are interested. Pretty fun way to build those reading skills I sketched the outlines and Anika did a lot of the coloring. I did the tricky parts, but they’re really a team-effort
I just posted A Cold Dark School with Zombies at the Gates with Pubit for the Nook. I’ll let you know when it goes live. My first impression was very positive. I’m still miffed at Barnes and Noble over my cracked bezel on my Nook that can’t be fixed 3 weeks out of warranty, but I’m trying to look past that frustration.
Uploading the file was very easy. They have a great preview mode where I can see how the story will appear on NookColor and the Nook. This was handy for adjusting the cover image to fit just right. Having done the work for the Kindle meant uploading to Pubit was a breeze. Jpeg and doc files. Yay!
I’ll let you know how it all plays out. Since I have a Nook, I can check for when it goes live.
Since Cold Dark School is doing well at the lower price point, I lowered The Goblin Queen on Kindle to .99 as well. Wonder if that will stir up sales a bit . . .
I’m also editing Dirt this week, hoping to publish that in the next few weeks. I have to make a cover for his book.
I will be adding The Goblin Queen to Pubit as well. Now, if Apple would just lower that ISBN drawbridge, I could get in their bookstore, too . . . oh, well. Their loss for now
Wonder what shelved stories I have that I can work on with zombies in the title?
Today I made two batches of marshmallow-rice-krispie treats for Anika’s Lorax play tomorrow, figured out how to spray-paint gravel gold for leprechaun treasure, and discovered my short story was on the Spine-Tingling-Horror bestseller list . I love saying that. It was #97 and it’s already fallen off of the list, but it was fun while it lasted.
I got an email notice about a $2 payment from Amazon in the UK. Two bucks, score! Hmm, I thought, Wonder if anyone is buying the story in the US?
And they are! A $27 royalty for January, and more this month. Which is awesome. Espeically since the story is .99 so I get a whopping .35 for each sale. People like zombie stories
So I’m really trying to get Dirt finished. He has a zombie caretaker of the castle.
Except Ian thinks bedtime is overrated so he’s standing right here. I’m on borrowed time.
So quick before I forget, the blood tests came back fine. Hurrah.
Though the new puzzle is that we may lose health insurance next month. My husband is getting laid off in two weeks unless some miracle happens.
Adventures continue as this indie world moves right underfoot. I submitted The Goblin Queen as an epub twice to the Lulu experts for distribution in the iBookstore. Twice I had the epub passing every check-program on the web. Yet twice they said it was rejected for errors, adding that Apple’s standards are stricter. How am I supposed to fix errors that I cannot find?
So I almost gave up on the whole process. But then Lulu changed everything. Their entire distribution process switched up so I can choose an ISBN option first thing. DOC files work just fine (just like Kindle). No more epub madness, hurrah. I did find a few formatting tweaks so I fixed those and uploaded The Goblin Queen again. Supposedly, it will be automatically submitted to the iBookstore so I’ll keep an eye out for that. Might be tricky since I don’t have an ipad, but I’ll figure it out
I also learned that Kindle and Lulu have different royalty payments. For my 2.99 list price, I make about $2 with Amazon and about 1.60 with Lulu. My big draw for Lulu is the iBookstore, so if that doesn’t work, I may abandon them in favor of Kindle exclusives. Although Nook is getting into the game, too, with a pubit publishing platform soon to be released. I hope!
Fun stuff.
And even better news, I posted the zombie story. This one has a different advantage for Lulu. Lulu lets me post it for free. So if you want a free short story download, go here. You can download it to copy over onto your ereading devices or read on your computer. And hopefully free soon for the iBookstore (again, I’ll let you know).
Amazon, on the other hand, requires a list price. The cheapest that I could go was .99. Which is fine for a short story. It happened to me yesterday where I was stuck as a car repair shop (helping my Mom with her car and babysitting- long story). Anyway, I had a couple of minutes so I downloaded D. Nathan Hilliard’s spooky new ghost story onto my Andriod phone using the Kindle app. Finished reading it at my daughter’s gymnastics’ class. Reading can go anywhere and everywhere now.
So the zombie story for Kindle is being cataloged now (I’ll add the link when it’s live.) I suppose the .99 is a convenience charge. But I would like to be able to deliver free stories to Kindle readers, too.
Maybe that will change soon, too
I did all of this in the hour that my Mom took the 2 year old boy for a picnic. School started last week so life is back in the classroom. I sure love my creative time, though
Welcome to Episode 19! The iMac is here! It’s been a fun week learning this pretty new machine. I had Macs in high school and college, then had PCs for the past ten years. My last experience with Macs was the candy-color computers in the late 1990s. Those computer struggled with easy tasks and spoiled my towards Macs in general.
No longer. This machine is slick, fast, powerful. A thoroughbred computer. This computer breezes through tasks that made my old PC whine and spin faster and faster. It’s pretty fun. I will have a good time with photo editing.
Some of our challenges here are the mixed platforms on our home network. We found a parallel program that opens a virtual PC inside the Mac environment. Giovanni says the new iMac is the fastest PC you’ll ever own. He’s right. All of my old documents and photos are right where they should be. I’m writing again. Using Fireworks to make new covers for stories.
As for Accessibility Features, I do not need visual or preferences changes to use the computer. Over the next couple of weeks, I plan to learn more and share it with you as a video. I want to explore and find all the good stuff. I know Apple is a leader in the field of Accessible Technology.
For myself, I love the Magic Mouse and the iMac keyboard. The mouse is smooth and responsive. The keyboard is ultra-modern and light-touch. Perfect for me. The old PC keyboard was starting to cause numbness through my hands after typing for a few minutes. This new keyboard is like a cloud, or silk, or a whisper. Very quiet and gentle. Works well for me.
I discovered that Apple’s mail program and iCal (calendar) can sync with gmail though simple google searches. The easy directions now have my life, literally, at my fingertips. Very cool. I look forward to taming the 5000 unread emails in my inbox (mostly catalog announcements). According to my husband, I should declare email bankruptcy.
We did have trouble networking older (a couple of years old) equipment to the new machine. The printer responded erratically. The scanner didn’t like communicating either. Luckily the price of new, wireless printer/scanner/copiers has really become affordable. So rather than struggling, we updated. Domino effect.
Exciting changes. I did finish the epub conversion and posted The Goblin Queen to Lulu. I chose Lulu because they are an iPad partner, working with the iBookstore. Their submission process for that bookstore is a little muddled, so I’ll let you know how that works out. Right now you give them the number of your project and 4-6 weeks later, you should see it in the iBookstore. If you own an iPad. Which I don’t. So we’ll see. It’s an adventure. The story is not a disability story, but it has themes of belonging, healing, and self-awareness. With pirates and goblins. Hurrah.
This week I want to get the zombie story up for free downloads. Check back here for the official release date. I found a cool graphic for the cover. You get to be the first to see it!
I like her. I really do. She’s from iStockphoto as well.
I also have played with my own photos as background, or wallpaper, images on my computer. I’ve even been asked if the image is mine, or came with the computer. I want to make the world more beautiful and fun. So I’m giving the photos away for free. Yes, free. No spam, no email collecting, no bots or Trojan horses or zombies on your computer. Real free stuff. Here. The gallery is password protected so the link-farms don’t pick up the opportunity. The password is disability. Because I want to build positive associations with the word disability. Not about loss. It’s about giving . I didn’t even watermark them with my name or website. By clicking on a photo, you can download it in a few different resolutions. Share and enjoy.
Sample Wallpaper Photo: My Current Computer Background. Free!
The same goes for all of my ebooks. I am not copy-protecting the electronic files. You can copy to all of your devices. Share with your family. Friends too. Just don’t make copies to sell on your front lawn . I keep the stories affordable because I believe we like to support our artists. Your support means everything to me. Thank you!
Around minute 30, we go to Family Gatherings.
The family gathering. Perhaps a family reunion, or a wedding, or a graduation. Most of us will meet with family for fun, celebration, or grieving. Families can be our biggest support. And our biggest trigger. The gatherings can be rewarding or exhausting. Or both at once.
I have a huge family. We’re tight. We get together as often as possible. I love my family. And still, over time, I need strategies for enjoying our time together.
Family knew us from the beginning. They knew us as children. If our challenges are caused by an accident, or worsening symptoms, they remember us before the changes. They may measure us against our former selves. We may bring sadness, or worries. And to mitigate the effects of our challenges, we may take on more activities than we should. We may work harder just so they won’t worry.
At the same time, we can build resentments if we feel people don’t believe our challenges. We may have stories of insensitive moments. We may feel overlooked.
And we have logistical challenges. Travel arrangements. Car rides, airplanes, hotels, scheduled days. There may be traditional sports or hikes. Early mornings and late evenings. Kitchens to clean and kids to wrangle. A lot more than our usual routines at home.
So how can we balance the realities of our ever-changing worlds with the many challenges of a family gathering?
By paying attention, being prepared, and heaping an extra helping of kindness on the day.
Advocate: Before the event, talk to a trusted family member. A spouse, sister, cousin, brother, parent, someone you trust to look out for you. Not take care of you necessarily. They need their own fun, too, but someone who can add your concerns to a conversation, or remind you of your own plans like don’t stay up too late. An advocate helps keep you honest. I’m prone to agree to all sorts of plans and activities in the moment. Hike to the lake, sure, sounds fun. It’s not that far, is it? And afterwards I wonder why. Talking to my husband or my cousin beforehand helps me stay focused on myself even in group dynamics. Now, it is important that this person is a helper, not a handler. They should not carry a battle flag and feel a need to defend your interests at any given moment. Nor should you blame them if plans do not go your way. Also, be realistic and respectful. Why did you let me stay up so late? is not fair. We are adults. They are a support, not a knight.
Planning: Travel arrangements need to be realistic. I have come to a place where camping is a lot of work. So we rent a hotel room near the campgrounds when we can. I don’t expect everyone to stay in the hotel with me. It’s part of that flexible living that we must become so good at creating. Planning may also mean traveling for less time if that keeps you healthier.
Stick with routines: As much as possible, stick with what works. I made a disasterious error at our last family gathering. My son has a sensitive tummy, but he’s been doing better so I thought he’d outgrown a lot of the sensitivities. This great 100% juice was on sale so against my misgivings, I let him drink some. He had miserable rash for the entire trip. Neither of us slept. He was in a good mood, but he was also miserable. I felt awful. And I kept kicking myself. Why, why would I change what worked away from our usual routines and expectations?
We don’t always make rational, logical choices in the moment. So whenever possible, stick with proven strategies.
Snacks and water: Group decision-making can take awhile. Or perhaps a restaurant is crowded. Or the barbecue is taking a lot time to heat up. Have some healthy snacks on hand, especially if you take medications. That way you don’t have to worry when the choice between Chinese and Mexican inspires a fifteen minute discussion.
Schedule downtime afterwards: Try to keep an empty schedule for a day or two after arriving home. Even the best events take effort. And recovering is just as important as preparing.
The closing thought is that our family is the thread connecting us to time. Or a close circle of friends. These are the people that we knew as children, who will know our children (should we have children). I helpd little baby cousins when I was a teenager. Those babies are taller than me now and attend college. The unfolding of time together is a beautiful thing. Our shared stories are everything. When we get past the logistics and baggage, we have time. And that’s all we have. And that time is fast and fleeting. We need to make the most of the moments we are given. So go. Invest the energy and time. Take the risks. And be with people you love who also love you.
For future episodes, I want to talk about extraordinary kids returning to school and what we, as parents, teachers, community, can do to support them in a new classroom.
On a completely different topic, I have ideas about pain. My own pain is fussy these days so it gets me thinking about how we handle, hold, cope with pain. How it makes us and breaks us.
September will also be the first ever CMT awareness week. I’ll bring news about that as well.
A lot going on. And it’s close to my evening tech-curfew (so I won’t stay up too late). Take care and best wishes for a healthy, fun week!
Now on Lulu, pending release on multiple platforms. It’s available for download as an ebook. I am working on distribution piece, which apparently takes 48 hours to catalog. I’ll pass along any news.
Once I had the tweaks worked out of my epub export from my (currently) trial version of iDesign from Adobe, the publishing was easy. Upload the file and create a cover.
For the cover, I hit up istockphoto.com. I purchased rights to the image for a few bucks, then created the rest on Fireworks.
Yes, the boy was at daycare today
My next project is sending the zombie story into epub. Lulu had a free option at publishing, so I hope to put it out there for free. Found a great zombie picture on the photo site. I’ll share the image tomorrow. Very cool.
The adventure continues. I also learned the new path for this self-publishing is called Indie Publishing. Self-published has such murky emotions around it. But there is a growing tide of Indie-Authors that make their books available and find great success on the path less traveled. Sounds fun. I have missed writing fiction so much.
I also checked records for The Goblin Queen on Kindle and people have been downloading the story. I never even knew. Awesome!
Inspiration and now the cool new tool, my iMac. Which I’ll write more about soon. Promise For now, 11pm. My curfew
The dance is dancing again. Better attitude, outlook, optimism in these parts. I did the opposite of my former strategy of do as little as possible. I found more. Which sounds crazy, even to me. But disengaging doesn’t work for me. I need to get active in order to stay happy. So I have two projects, one secret.
The other is an extended research adventure into the world of epublishing. I’m trying to get The Goblin Queen onto the iPad and Nook.
I’m also turning technology off at 11pm so I get some sleep . Because once I get into the creative zone, I stay there as long as possible. Little sleep makes for cranky days.
I’m off to fix the latest hurdle in my quest. I’ll keep you posted.
Hello! I am a writer, teacher, artist, photographer, crafter, and mama. I started this blog to celebrate everyday life. I have two children that are magic. I want to capture these amazing years for them.
I also have a degenerative neuromuscular disorder called Charcot Marie Tooth that causes nerve damage, leading to muscle atrophy, joint problems, and more.
I want to rewrite what it means to live with chronic health challenges. I started the Disability Community Podcast to share ideas about living well with limitations.
I love technology. The Right Click podcast finds the latest and greatest- especially for accessibility.
I am also co-creator of Forest Fairy Crafts. We love whimsical crafting with children.
I teach kindergarten/first grade at the Nevada City School of the Arts (part-time), take many photos, and write indie-stories. Life is an adventure. I adore java-chip frappuccinos, beaches with easy access, and werewolf stories.
