I had electricity shot down my nerves today. Watched my fingers and toes twitch as a machine registered the speed of each bolt. Not too dramatic, really, a neurologist appointment. One of the few ways to track progression of CMT is to measure nerve conductivity. So he took measurements today. Not all bad news. Some nerves are stronger than he expected. Others have lost speed. I've been feeling my hands as doll-hands more often, a little distant and breakable. And there is muscle loss in my hands. My neuropathy makes the nerves fizzle and slow, in turn causing muscles to weaken and atrophy. What can be done? Nothing, really. Mild exercise, continued activitiy, rest when necessary. Appreciation for skills I have here and now.
So it sure felt good to drive over to As If Studios where Anika and I are taking a clay class. We're making a fairy tea set and other fun needed-things like fairy furniture. Pushing my hands into the soft clay felt good and real. Wonderful smoothing and folding and creating. We have a blast. Ian is off with his baby friends today so it's mommy-daughter day. And a few moments where I can write. :)
The lasting moment from my appointment today was my doctor checking in with me, how's it going?
Fine, numbness, tingling, fatigue, pain, the usual.
And as he's testing my nerve conduction he says, "You really don't let on, do you, how tough this is? You suck it in. Not everyone has that attitude, you know. A lot of people blame the world and complain a lot."
And I could complain a lot. But really, where would that get me? I love my life. Fizzily nerves and all :)